He Framed Roger Rabbit
by LocalEccentric
Summary: Really get into the mind of Judge Doom with an exclusive interview! (All of this is inspired by various fan discussions i've seen, so the majority of it was me summarizing what they said) Read and review! trust me, you won't be disappointed. Rated K because of Doom's evilness


" **H** **e Framed Roger Rabbit": An Interview with Judge Doom**

" **Transcript"- Archives of the Los Angeles Chronicle.**

 **Interviewer: Adam Paczovsky, reporter for the Los Angeles Chronicle**

 **Interviewee: Chief Jurist of Toontown, His Honor etc etc Judge (Unknown) Doom, aka Baron VonRotten.**

 **Interview location: The conference room of the Toontown Historical Society, Sunday June 24th 1988, 1:00 PM.**

 **(Start of Interview)**

 **AP: Here I am with Judge Doom, the r-real deal. He was used as a consultant for "Who Framed Roger Rabbit" and was the stunt double for Christopher Lloyd. How does it really feel to be back in action, Y-your Honor?**

 **D: It feels…simply splendid to be back among the living.**

 **AP: You seem…calmer.**

 **D: Oh, I think I know what you're referring to. This is a…persona. A façade! I've gotten quite adept at maintaining a steely calm veneer to cover the.. turbulence.. within. As they say; once an actor, always an actor. Besides… I sense you're uncomfortable in my presence. While I pose no threat to you now, I'm satisfied to see that after 41 years I'm still an intimidating presence. What's your first question?**

 **AP: The fans want to know… let's start with your background. Who were you? What did you do?**

 **D: You mean my humble beginnings as a..** _ **toon**_ **, don't you?**

 **AP: Well, yes. There are many questions from the fans that need answers. Little things like your back-story, your reasons for why you did what you did, etc.**

 **D: My… ah… back-story, as you say is rather short. My name was Baron VonRotten, and I was a versatile toon actor, mostly specializing in villains. I was somewhat unusual at the time, because not only was I able to alter my appearance to perform several roles, I was a freelance actor. I worked for a great many studios of the day, even Maroon Cartoons.**

 **AP: Who did you play in Maroon's Studios?**

 **D: I had one role as the lead villain in "Pistol Packin' Possum". It was actually one of the only cartoon shorts Old R.K did that didn't feature Roger Rabbit, so that was something. Being a master of disguise was incredibly useful, especially in my later years as a jurist.**

 **AP: There must be more to it. What turned you evil? What film were you working on when you turned evil? Heck, what turns a Toon evil?**

 **D: Well, to understand what turns me.. sour, you first have to understand what turns a toon evil. It's quite rare, and only happens when a toon commits an act of real evil, or experiences feelings of rage, or hatred or jealousy and the like. As Roger says in the film, his purpose in life is to make people laugh. The purpose of toons is to entertain: murder isn't typically in the nature of toons.**

 **AP: Then what happened to you?**

 **D: It was a mixture of deep resent towards Disney, coupled with a nasty concussion. This was 1941, and they were filming "Bambi". I was supposed to have been given a complete on-screen role as "Man", the character that shot Bambi's mother.**

 **AP:** _ **You**_ **were in "Bambi"?**

 **D: I was supposed to be. The directors cut me out of nearly all my scenes, and cut my pay. You have to understand that this is before toons were unionized- directors could treat toons any way they chose.** **In the human world, it was some time of turbulence for the movie industry in general, with actors and animators alike were fighting for better pay and better treatment, so imagine how they treated toons! And believe me, with how they treated toons.. I was beyond furious at them! When a toon feels that kind of emotion, it…corrupts them. Twists the celluloid, curdles the ink and cracks the paint they're made of.**

 **AP: How did the concussion figure into it? Aren't you guys impervious to harm?**

 **D: To most physical harm, yes! Toons may be invulnerable to most harm, but are not completely impervious. In addition to the Dip my concussion is a perfect example of a work-related incident that could harm a toon. I wasn't expecting to be knocked out cold by a camera, and had no time to turn the situation into a gag. That's what happens; a toon is unexpectedly hurt in the real world, and has no time to prepare for a funny ending to the occurrence and the toon may be seriously hurt.**

 **AP: How did you become a judge?**

 **D: I robbed the First National bank of Toontown, but not before I killed one of the two bumbling detectives who were chasing me. You've seen the movie. You know what happened.**

 **AP: How did that happen? If he was in Toontown, wouldn't Teddy have walked the injury off?**

 **D: The piano was a real piano. The physics of Toontown lie in the toons, and the physical objects, not always the town itself. A real piano would be lethal simply because toon rules don't apply to it.**

 **AP: Do you regret that at all? Why did you do…any of what you did?**

 **D: I don't regret it at all! Here's something you must understand about me, young man; I find murdering people funny.** **The outlandish but non-fatal things that happen to Eddie throughout the movie are because the Toon in question finds it funny due to** **the very** _ **nature**_ **of the Toon. Sadism is my nature now. In addition to that, I** **was funny to myself. I got a kick out of fooling everybody into thinking I was human! Not even the brother of the man I murdered recognized me!**

 **AP: How did that even happen, Eddie not knowing it was you? That was a common question among the fans after watching the movie.**

 **D: Quite simple:** **the bank was known to have been robbed by a toon, and I was considered to be, in all obvious appearances, human, so the connection wasn't immediately obvious. Who knows what he thought about it, if he thought about it at all? There were a few telltale signs, if I recall correctly, that were included in the film.**

 **AP: Such as?**

 **D: My cloak blew, as if caught in a breeze even indoors. I never blinked. When I slipped, I didn't fall right on my back, but rather I stayed upright for a few comical slips.**

 **AP: How did you manage to get away with what you did for so long? And if you succeeded, weren't you scared of legal repercussions?**

 **D: Oh, you mean being Toontown's "hanging judge"? I made the point that since Toontown has been under my jurisdiction, my biggest obstacle was getting toons to** _ **respect**_ __ **the law. Toons, being mostly indestructible, tend to "play rough" with more fragile humans. A perfect example is the toon shoe- though it was a gopher in real life: murdering a toon was perfectly legal. Before Dip was around, toons were unkillable, so why would there be any law against killing them? Why not, when nobody thought killing toons was even possible until the invention of Dip! Laughing to death is pretty much their own doing, you can't force somebody to do it. The only way for killing a toon to be covered under an existing law would be for there to be a law against assaulting a toon. Given how toons love to inflict slapstick in their daily lives, there was almost no chance of assaulting a Toon to be covered under a law. Toons weren't 'human' by legal standards and therefore killing them was not considered murder. There were no legal repercussions so it was viewed more like "putting it down" because it attacked someone. That shoe kicked a police officer square in the crotch. Physically assaulting an officer was a serious offense, especially since the officer didn't have a weapon drawn.**

 **AP: What happens when you Dip a toon? Did the shoe go to Toon Heaven? Where did you end up?**

 **D: Of course the shoe went to heaven. All shoes have soles, after all!**

 ***5 seconds of silence***

 **D: My apologies. That was a little bit of the old me creeping in. Actually, I didn't go anywhere. I was instantly brought back, as if no time had passed at all. The Dip destroyed my Toon soul, as well as the shoe's, and Smartass'.** **The Weasels, for instance, were 'incapacitated', if you will, when they died of laughter. Even in ghost form Psycho was still capable of turning on the Dipmobile, and a Toon can always be reunited with its body after this occurs. Dipping is the one permanent way to kill a Toon with no chance of it being brought back, unless they are re-animated. It is a remarkable and rather confusing irony that a toon's ultimate purpose is to be amusing in some way and yet they themselves shouldn't laugh too much or else they'll "die".**

 **AP: Irony indeed. Now, let's talk about your relationship with the Weasels. I interviewed them last year during filming, and they explained what they did for you, so you don't have to answer that question unless you want to. But what were you going to do with them after you succeeded in destroying Toontown? They didn't seem too bothered that you might Dip them, nor that their home was being destroyed.**

 **D: If you talked to them, you knew they felt as I did: we were sick of toons being treated as second class citizens, and wanted to even the playing field. We loathed Toontown, though, and all it stood for. Destroying Toontown was the perfect solution. This may seem contradictory, but you lack vision, my boy. Perhaps they also felt it was better to stay at the right hand of the devil rather than in his path, and thought they would reap the benefits afterward. Psycho was too ax-crazy to care, and Stupid was, well...too stupid. Thinking on it, I was planning on giving them a percentage of the profits from the Freeway, but was torn between dipping them after they outlived their usefulness, the latter being far more likely than the former. Though… as the only remaining toons in Toontown, their demand as actors would skyrocket if animators weren't put out of work because of it.**

 **AP: Speaking of the Weasels, I remember in the movie you said that no Toon could resist the shave-and-a-haircut bit. How did you and the Weasels resist it?**

 **D: In addition to the fact that the toons getting the ball rolling on the gag are immune to the punch-line, it's not about finishing the rhythm** _ **per se,**_ **but about blowing one's cover. Many toons literally lived for making others laugh, especially when this is a serious inconvenience to them, and so a Toon who is** _ **hiding**_ **won't be able to resist answering the "shave and a haircut" knock simply because it's funny. I knew Roger would thoughtlessly give himself away like that;** **I was** **simply exploiting this weakness.** **Toons take silliness quite seriously, b** **ut when a gag comes unexpectedly, as I said before, then it's deadly.**

 **AP: But not all toons are about being funny, or even about being entertainers. Some of them have important jobs off-stage, like being elevator operators, cigarette girls, bouncers. Someone has to manufacture the parachutes, spare tires, and paint those lines on the roadway. How did toons that weren't serious make a living?**

 **D:** **Toons as a rule are about** _ **entertaining,**_ **not just making people laugh. More serious toons would still be all about the performance and gaining a positive audience reaction but not necessarily making them laugh. As this is the 1940s we're speaking of, however, the comedic toons were still the vast majority.**

 **AP: Let's say you succeeded. Weren't you afraid of getting sued for destroying various studio's property, even if it wasn't considered murder?**

 **D: Quite simply, I was the Law in Toontown.** **There was nothing to stop me from condemning every toon building, demolishing them, and writing off the casualties as belligerent trespassers. That's what I planned to do if anyone questioned why I destroyed Toontown.**

 **AP: Why did you want Acme's will? To destroy it?**

 **D: Partly. If you recall correctly, Cloverleaf Industries- and I, as the company's sole stockholder- would have owned Toontown legally if Marvin Acme's will didn't show up by midnight on the day I planned to destroy Toontown. I would have built the Freeway, and Cloverleaf would have controlled several markets, such as gasoline and tires. I could have easily altered the will to have made myself the sole beneficiary of his entire estate. I didn't** **even need to go that far, for, without the will presenting itself Acme's estate would be forfeit to the current lawful governing authority. So if the will was not present to name a beneficiary, it was government property under my jurisdiction, I could do whatever he wanted there under the bounds of the law even if Cloverleaf was not involved. However, Cloverleaf was necessary because of the public. If a giant company bought the Red Car trolley lines, they wouldn't think twice if it bought several prime pieces of real estate such as Maroon Cartoon Studios, and Acme's property to build a Freeway. That's why my plan to frame Roger Rabbit was sheer genius!**

 **AP: How so?**

 **D: If the will didn't show up, Cloverleaf owned Toontown. If Cloverleaf wasn't involved, I also could have owned Toontown as Chief Jurist, but that was actually up to the City Council. Most likely, if Cloverleaf had no involvement in Toontown, it would have gone to me if Acme's will pulled an..unfortunate disappearing act. Either way, I would have owned Toontown. It was just a matter of time before either event ensured I'd own Acme's estate. I didn't need to put in any more effort than I did to make sure Toontown would be mine, but I had little faith in the bumbling fools on the City Council and I went with Option B: Murdering Acme to get the will. Roger was merely a pawn, designed as a distraction for my real plans, and a scapegoat for Acme's murder. What better to distract the public from a scandal than with an even juicier one?**

 **AP: But weren't you worried that Roger was going to go to the police? After you kidnapped Eddie Valiant and Jessica Rabbit, weren't you concerned that he might talk when he's out and about?**

 **D: I didn't need to catch Roger at all after we made it clear we were looking for him.** _ **Roger is the murder suspect**_ **. Can you imagine him going to the police and saying that he's innocent- without real proof -and it's me who's the real murderer? He'd be arrested on the spot and handed straight over to me, where I would Dip him to make sure he would never be in my way again!**

 **AP: Did you know that they built the freeway that you planned? They built it around Toontown instead of right through it. And here's the kicker: traffic is just as bad, if not worse than it was without the freeway!**

 **D: I was a Toon. That doesn't mean I was perfect. How could I possibly have foreseen the population, housing and consumer boom of the following decade?**

 **AP: You claimed that I lacked vision. You foresaw a future for America where people were getting off and on your freeway at all hours with no traffic. You were right about the consumer boom, but why didn't you think of the explosion of babies and the rapid population growth in the '50s? As it was, back in the 1940s, you had all the War babies. Surely you must have known more would come to grow up and cause traffic.**

 **D: I did, but I couldn't possibly have imagined the growth of consumerism in the 1950s! It was everything I hoped for, and more! With the sole exception of the freeway's location, I'd say my legacy was a great one. I knew what America would one day become, and if it meant getting rid of a few talking mice and satisfying a personal vendetta, who cared? I think I succeeded.**

 **AP: Many kids who saw your performance in the film were absolutely traumatized. What do you think of that?**

 **D: Excellent change in subject! And I'm satisfied that I'm still causing nightmares, regardless of what form of irritating critter dreams them, be they children or toons.**

 **AP: You're a toon yourself.. why did you want to see them destroyed?**

 **D:** _ **I**_ **am** _ **not**_ **a toon. That part of me is dead. I am Judge Hiram L. Doom, former Chief Justice of Toontown, former head of Cloverleaf Industries, and former actor, now out of retirement. Didn't I tell you being evil changed who I was? Toons are…not practical in the human world; they don't belong. Anything that isn't practical does not belong in the world of humans.** **That which disrupts the order of our society must be put in its place.**

 **AP: Then why did you use your quote/unquote Toon powers when you killed Teddy and tried to kill Eddie if you feel toons aren't practical? For that matter, why bother hiring the Toon Patrol? What did you think of them anyway?**

 **D: When I killed Teddy, I wasn't in my human guise yet. I only did what I had to do to make sure he was no longer in my way. The piano was a last minute improvisation. And as far as using my, as you said Toon powers when I battled with Eddie, I had no choice. My guise was no longer useful, and while I regret I let my old self show through, it was necessary at the time. He was beneath me anyway. I could have easily gotten the best of him had he not found the button that reversed the flow of the Dip. Now, as far as what I think-**

 **AP: You insist you are, for all intents and purposes, a human. Then why do you refer to it as a guise? Seems obvious that you loathe toons, so referring to your current self as a disguise implies that you're still a toon.**

 **D: You're not understanding me: Judge Doom is who I am now. I said my old self is dead, and so he is. My former guise is now my identity!**

 **AP: A bit like being under the Witness Protection Program. Then why did you pick Doom as a name? That's a surefire sign that someone is evil in Toontown. And Eddie called you quote/unquote toonier than Roger. Why did you let that much show through? Was it just to make people think that to catch a toon, you needed to act like one?**

 **D: Exactly! Now you're beginning to understand. And as far as my name goes, I wanted it to strike fear into the hearts of toons, because, as you said, having a name like mine means one is evil in Toontown. As far as any humans were concerned, I said that my name was changed when my parents came over to America, and that it originally was Dh** **ööm; we were from Germany. The name is gibberish, I know, but people bought it. I loved fooling them just as much as I love murdering people.**

 **AP: Now that that's out of the way, what did you think of the Weasels?**

 **D: As I said before, the Weasels…They were useful to me. We shared the same views. They were the only practical toons I've ever met. Though despite their usefulness, they were still toons. Eventually, they would have had to go once they outlived their usefulness. It's what we talked about before: I would have rewarded them handsomely after our work destroying Toontown was done, but there's no denying they were not immune to toony behavior. They would have lost their place in my world view at some point, and then they would have been destroyed.**

 **AP: Did you at least like them, even a little?**

 **D: They were obedient, dogged in their determination, and were sadistic. They were nearly human! But they had no place in the world of humans, despite their… public relations job for the city. They were loyal, and I could actually have an intelligent conversation with them. And, oh, Psycho! If ever there was a weasel that was destined for greatness in the world of villainy, he was it! Still, they were toons, and they had to go. I didn't like them much outside of the work environment. I still don't.**

 **AP: Last year, they said they practically kissed the ground you walked on. In their own warped way, they liked you. They said that you made them realize that there was more out there for them than just acting, and that, if they could, they'd go back and do it all over again. They said that they also would leave their mark and make sure nobody in Toontown forgot what happens when you mess with them.**

 **D: Did they? I'm proud of them for wanting to stick to the villain creed. But as far as wanting to do it all over again…Then they're fools. Damned fools. You know, when a Toon that turns evil is re-drawn, they go back to the way they were when they were drawn the first time around, but have all their old memories. They're talking about how they felt 40 years ago. It's irrelevant to how they are today.**

 **AP: And how do you feel today as opposed to 40 years ago?**

 **D: The same as I did then. What happened to me can't be reversed. I'm rotten to the core, and proud of it!**

 **AP: So you wouldn't change a thing? What's to stop you from doing what you did in the '40s today?**

 **D: Everything. I'm going to be carefully observed by the Toontown Police Department. They made Dip illegal, and Cloverleaf Industries went bankrupt from the court cases following my failed takeover of Toontown. Besides, if I so much as look at a Toon the wrong way, I'll probably have all of Toontown waiting to lynch me. Essentially, I can't do anything.**

 **AP: Kind of ironic that you're a prisoner in the town you once ruled over/tried to destroy.**

 **D: Very. Though, do you know what? The world doesn't need me to help them consume and consume like I once wanted. There are things I never thought possible: transatlantic travel by air, computers, television sets in every room! I wanted to make an America that was no longer about "We the People", rather, about "Me the Person", and you've done it. You consume and consume in this decade of excess! You don't need me to corrupt society by destroying Toontown, when all the while, you're doing it to yourselves! And what a spectacular job you've done! Fitting that the society I wanted to corrupt has corrupted itself without me. How's** _ **that**_ **for irony?!**

 **AP: ….What do you plan on doing now that the movie is finished?**

 **D: I'm going to sit back and watch all of you destroy yourselves. Ten, twenty, fifty years may go by, but it will happen eventually. Destroying Toontown will be irrelevant, because the sense of innocence that toons are supposed to inspire will be gone from humanity one day, and that is what I truly wish to see. I think this interview is finished. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have an appointment with the men with the white coats and big nets.**

 **AP: All right, but one-**

 **DL Here. I'll even shut your recording off.**

 **AP: But-**

 **(End of Interview)**


End file.
